This post is part 6 of a glimpse into my memoir from my upcoming book “The Apryl Michelle Brown Story.. More than a Body.” If you missed it, you can start from the first post “I Am Not Afraid Of My Greatness!!!
I believe our whole existence is about the evolution of Spirit.
I know for sure that we can try to dumb down our spirits, because I was guilty of this behavior, before my “new normal”.
I was walking around in my 6 inch heels, deeming my spirit as a personality. I was allowing people to join me in the diminishing of my spirit, by allowing them to tell me how nice my personality was.
Let me say this for the record, “There is not enough personality in the world that would be able to live this experience“. My personality, and every person, place and thing attached to it died with my limbs.
Everything really does happen for a reason.
If you walk around blaming your suffering on a “devil”, you might be missing the whole point of being purposed for your purpose.
I tell people all the time, that we are the power that lights up the world.
I know some of you may not feel worthy of having a purpose or a spirit for that matter. I know I didn’t. I spent so much time in my old body, complaining about not being enough.
Every being on this planet has a purpose and a wattage, which means your vote counts in the scheme of the universe (God).
Some of us are 1,000,000 watts, some of us are 1,000 watts, some of us are 100 watts, etc. We are not given these wattage (power\light\spirit) in a competitive way, we are given them in a “purposeful kind a way”.
This is why we must believe our relationship with the universe (God), is personal.
You are the one who chooses for you.
I have seen many beings in my life, join a “church” and hang on every word of the leader. They make comments like, “Well pastor said it, so it must be true“.
It might be true, but it might not be true for you, we have to find our own truth. The truth for our divine purpose.
I have met a lot of people who would rather give their power to an organization\church\people, etc. I believe we do that because we don’t want to be responsible for our spirit, or our purposes.
I guess we find it easier to say, when things are not good, we can just say, “The devil did it“. When things are super good, we can just say, “Thank you Jesus, God is good“.
Either God is good all the time, or you must believe he\she is in some kind of competition with a “devil”.
Please don’t think I don’t believe in negative\positive or, dark and light, because I whole heartedly believe in these forces. These forces work with and through us all regardless if we except it or not.
I would love to be a full positive, but that’s impossible. Have you ever seen a battery that didn’t have a negative and a positive (I know I haven’t).
Believe it are not, this is also the way human beings work also.
Except, we are plugged into mother nature through our spirits (God). The part of us that never dies, because we never lose our connection with God.
God has created everything that is. We all have everything that is within us.
Some of us spend more time on the “positive” side, but it does not mean that we don’t have “negative” in us… Just as some of us spend more time in the “negative”, but it does not mean that we don’t have positive in us. Life circumstances can force us to go either way at any time, especially childhood circumstances.
We all have the ability to say what we won’t or will do, until a circumstance is created to show us, what we will do. I know I spoke this universal talk for a long time, way before the lady showed up in my salon talking about butt injections.
When the circumstance of a “childhood” issue had been fertilized, criticized and magnified by other wounded spirits, it didn’t stop me from trying to fulfill the issue by getting illegal butt injections.
At that moment I had no idea it was illegal or a self-esteem issue.
It wasn’t until the shyt hit the fan that I could even recognize it as a self-esteem issue. I really thought it was more favor from the universe (God), especially since I had wanted the “perfect”butt since I was a child. Whatever perfect means.
I know for sure, if it wasn’t for my “New Normal”, I would not be writing this book. I would have been talking about writing a book, but it would have been talk. I would have been to busy chasing the “American Dream”.
This circumstance landed me straight on my purpose.
I promise you this, we are so much more than our bodies, don’t get me wrong, our body is our vehicle, and it is important for us to take care of it to the best of our ability, just as we take care of the vehicles we drive.
But, please don’t get it twisted. The most important part of this body, is the spirit that is housed inside of it. If your spirit is not content, meaning understanding its purpose, the body will not matter.
We can change a lot about our bodies and our minds, but the spirit stays the same. I am not saying that the spirit can’t be broken, or that it can’t grow.
Although I started the ball rolling by allowing an unlicensed person to inject silicon, that ended up being bathtub caulk in my butt cheeks, I take full responsibility and accountability for that.
I knew that this situation was happening for me, not to me. The platform I kept asking God for (many years prior),was finally here.
Although I pictured it with me looking very different. Yes, I pictured me in my 6 inch heels, a flawless weave, fabulous outfits, designed by yours truly, and many other things.
It showed up limbless and raw. Mysterious and totally out of any box I was boxed in, and any box I had boxed myself in previously.
The”spirit” was more alive than ever. Totally ready to be available for its purpose here on planet earth.
Like I said before, if we are waiting for purpose to show up wrapped in some beautiful box, with a fabulous bow, we will miss it every time.
Have you found your purpose? When or how did you know?